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In a marriage where one person is christian and the other is not, do you believe it better to give both sides equal time or should only one somewhat agreed upon theory be taught to young children who are old enough to understand...
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Mixed Marriage
#1
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Posted 17 February 2006 - 10:22 PM
MultiQuote#2 Guest_revpo_*
Posted 17 February 2006 - 10:43 PM
WELL to keep peace make it neutral teaching if any for the children, such as pantheism or deism a belief in the almighty but the rest no, but if the other party doesnt believe in the almighty sway toward a natural reasoned religion..spiritual humanism...just ideas
revpo
MIXED MARRIAGE
Go to http://atheistparents.org it has a wealth of info to read
revpo
revpo
MIXED MARRIAGE
Go to http://atheistparents.org it has a wealth of info to read
revpo
This post has been edited by revpo: 17 February 2006 - 10:47 PM
#3
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Posted 18 February 2006 - 12:38 AM
while i would hope this had been discussed by the parties before a marriage ever took place;if for some reason it was not till after children were born,then i hope that both sets of parents would explain and expose children to their seperate beliefs(if they still pratice them at all)and give their children the tools necessary to decide for themselves what if anything they choose to believe.
in most cases,couples in a "mixed"marriage tend to abandon their beliefs long before they have children,or they may curtail the pratice of them.in some cases,one spouse will convert to the others belief,or the couple may find an entirely different belief system.
in most cases,couples in a "mixed"marriage tend to abandon their beliefs long before they have children,or they may curtail the pratice of them.in some cases,one spouse will convert to the others belief,or the couple may find an entirely different belief system.
#4 Guest_Clueless Git_*
Posted 18 February 2006 - 05:29 AM
I think it would depend on which flavour of Christian to be honest ..
Personaly I divide Christians into two basic camps; Those who's priority is that other should follow their words and those who's priority is to teach others how to follow their way. Sometimes I define those two camps as 'inclusive' and 'exclusive' Chrisitains.
Loosely, exclusive Christians believe that good does not, cannot, exist in those who do not espouse the same words as they. Inclusive type Christians, on t'other hand, are able to see good, that which would be pleasing to their God, wheresoever and in whomsoever it may be found.
Exclusive Christians are unlikely to marry outside of their kind.
Inclusive Christians are the kind who would make absolutely anyone an excellent husband or wife
Personaly I divide Christians into two basic camps; Those who's priority is that other should follow their words and those who's priority is to teach others how to follow their way. Sometimes I define those two camps as 'inclusive' and 'exclusive' Chrisitains.
Loosely, exclusive Christians believe that good does not, cannot, exist in those who do not espouse the same words as they. Inclusive type Christians, on t'other hand, are able to see good, that which would be pleasing to their God, wheresoever and in whomsoever it may be found.
Exclusive Christians are unlikely to marry outside of their kind.
Inclusive Christians are the kind who would make absolutely anyone an excellent husband or wife
#5
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Posted 18 February 2006 - 11:19 AM
I like your definitions, git.
Perhaps in the question, we are speaking of totally non-christian teachings, it is not clear what sort of mix. I was raised in a basically christian based family, although my dad pretty much didn't follow anything at least openly. The church I attended most of my youth had a very progressive youth group and we were exposed to a variety of different denominations of christianity as well as some outside like budhism. It was as a direct result of that plus my inquisitive nature that I began studying other belief structures and questioning my own in an attempt to make it stronger.
I am now basically a christian based person but since I do not "follow and worship Christ"... but merely live by most of his teachings, I am on the outside so to speak. My partner fancies themself a "good christian" and we have over the years clashed many times with regard to me not believing as they do. Our daughter was brought up in a middle of the road type of christian church in order to expose her to the basics, but I always encouraged her to explore and now that she is an adult, I see her still doing so.
All that slightly off topic rambling to get me to my answer hehheh. I firmly believe that if we are speaking mixed marriage such as christian and hindu for example, the children should be exposed to both and to other faiths as well. If we give the child a broad but firm foundation from which to build, they will grow stronger. We cannot force another to see things our way, we can only lead by example to truly affect them.
Let each explain why they live as they do .. show them other options... and they will find their way
donna
Perhaps in the question, we are speaking of totally non-christian teachings, it is not clear what sort of mix. I was raised in a basically christian based family, although my dad pretty much didn't follow anything at least openly. The church I attended most of my youth had a very progressive youth group and we were exposed to a variety of different denominations of christianity as well as some outside like budhism. It was as a direct result of that plus my inquisitive nature that I began studying other belief structures and questioning my own in an attempt to make it stronger.
I am now basically a christian based person but since I do not "follow and worship Christ"... but merely live by most of his teachings, I am on the outside so to speak. My partner fancies themself a "good christian" and we have over the years clashed many times with regard to me not believing as they do. Our daughter was brought up in a middle of the road type of christian church in order to expose her to the basics, but I always encouraged her to explore and now that she is an adult, I see her still doing so.
All that slightly off topic rambling to get me to my answer hehheh. I firmly believe that if we are speaking mixed marriage such as christian and hindu for example, the children should be exposed to both and to other faiths as well. If we give the child a broad but firm foundation from which to build, they will grow stronger. We cannot force another to see things our way, we can only lead by example to truly affect them.
Let each explain why they live as they do .. show them other options... and they will find their way
donna
#6
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Posted 27 April 2006 - 10:57 AM
I agree.
I feel I can say with reasonable certainty that we have all studied enough of the different religions of the world to understand that there are many common lessons and concepts expressed in them to make a common core set of beliefs / basic moral code.
The child/children should be taught this core "spiritual foundation" while the parents continue to practice their own religion as they had previously. If the child is curious and wishes to know more, they will ask. This will in turn allow them to forge their own religious path. If the child doesn't show any interest in either of the parents' religions, then the child may simply not be interested in the parents' religion (or religion at all); or they simply may not have found the religious path that "works" for them yet and further independent study/exploration of the subject should be encouraged in a non-threatening, unbiased environment.
- Rich
I feel I can say with reasonable certainty that we have all studied enough of the different religions of the world to understand that there are many common lessons and concepts expressed in them to make a common core set of beliefs / basic moral code.
The child/children should be taught this core "spiritual foundation" while the parents continue to practice their own religion as they had previously. If the child is curious and wishes to know more, they will ask. This will in turn allow them to forge their own religious path. If the child doesn't show any interest in either of the parents' religions, then the child may simply not be interested in the parents' religion (or religion at all); or they simply may not have found the religious path that "works" for them yet and further independent study/exploration of the subject should be encouraged in a non-threatening, unbiased environment.
- Rich
This post has been edited by Rich G.: 27 April 2006 - 10:58 AM
#7
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Posted 06 June 2006 - 12:48 AM
Mixed marriages only work successfully if both people agree on and demonstrate mutual respect for the other's religion long before they are married, and continue to do so afterward.
As for kids-- and I'm sure this will be an unpopular viewpoint-- I believe in keeping religion out of children's lives until they are ready to ask questions and make decisions for themselves. I'm specifically referring to attending services, learning about the teachings/beliefs of the religion. however, when it comes to holidays, etc., it can get quite complicated!
As for kids-- and I'm sure this will be an unpopular viewpoint-- I believe in keeping religion out of children's lives until they are ready to ask questions and make decisions for themselves. I'm specifically referring to attending services, learning about the teachings/beliefs of the religion. however, when it comes to holidays, etc., it can get quite complicated!
#8 Guest_loststar_moonstar_*
Posted 15 June 2006 - 08:21 PM
I am a believer that mixed marriages can work.Someone brought up that there needs to be respect of the partners beliefs.Most of the time that is an easy task.
As far as children go,they need to be guided all the way.In my first marriage to a Morman,I was Methodist,we took the kids to both churchs.After the divorce the kids went with me,as they got older,they went to church with Grandpa/ma,or me,or a friend.I encouraged them to go to different churchs and learn as many veiws as possible.They had until they were 18 to find a religon they felt at home with.
The oldest went into Wicca,oldest son went to Odinism for awhile and then to the Lakota Spirituality.
After their sisters death Daughter sometimes goes to a Methodist Chugh,and sons faith disapeared and he won't go unles his daughter asks him.She goes to church with her other Grandma since I moved out of statr
As far as children go,they need to be guided all the way.In my first marriage to a Morman,I was Methodist,we took the kids to both churchs.After the divorce the kids went with me,as they got older,they went to church with Grandpa/ma,or me,or a friend.I encouraged them to go to different churchs and learn as many veiws as possible.They had until they were 18 to find a religon they felt at home with.
The oldest went into Wicca,oldest son went to Odinism for awhile and then to the Lakota Spirituality.
After their sisters death Daughter sometimes goes to a Methodist Chugh,and sons faith disapeared and he won't go unles his daughter asks him.She goes to church with her other Grandma since I moved out of statr
#9 Guest_Judge_*
Posted 16 June 2006 - 09:38 AM
I think the children should be taught both and let them decide for themselves what they choose has their belief. I know christians are taught on the whole that they have to teach their children christianty and I agree, but the Bible teaches that God made man in his image, that is, he gave man the ability of free will. That is to make decision of their own. Man does not run on instinct but has the freedom of free will just as God. That is how we are in his image. Therefore, this being said, it is my belief that you should give the children both views and let them decide. It will make them more open-minded and better people in the end.
Samadhi, on Feb 17 2006, 08:22 PM, said:
In a marriage where one person is christian and the other is not, do you believe it better to give both sides equal time or should only one somewhat agreed upon theory be taught to young children who are old enough to understand...
#10 Guest_rev.spiller_*
Posted 16 June 2006 - 12:02 PM
My first marriage was mixed. I am catholic and he was jewish. Neither of us was practicing our religion other than observing holidays. We agreed up front that we would not raise our daughter in either religion because neither of us believed in organized religion. Both families celebrated holidays together and we installed a belief in God in our daughter and brought her up with good morals. We decided to let her decide what religion if any she wanted to practice. She is now 23 and still believes in God but does not follow any particular religion.
My strong belief is that we do not need a brick and mortar church to pray and praise the lord. He is with us and in us if we believe in him. He is everywhere.
I do believe couples need to discuss this topic before marriage and seek counselling if there is an issue or argument regarding religion.
It is also important to check if their religion will accept the child. In my case the Jews say that the child is the religion of the mother. As far as the catholics are concerned since I wasn't married by the church they did not recognize my marriage and therefore my daughter would not be considered a catholic by birth.
My strong belief is that we do not need a brick and mortar church to pray and praise the lord. He is with us and in us if we believe in him. He is everywhere.
I do believe couples need to discuss this topic before marriage and seek counselling if there is an issue or argument regarding religion.
It is also important to check if their religion will accept the child. In my case the Jews say that the child is the religion of the mother. As far as the catholics are concerned since I wasn't married by the church they did not recognize my marriage and therefore my daughter would not be considered a catholic by birth.
#11
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Posted 16 June 2006 - 01:57 PM
some branchs of judisam would consider your daughter jewish,and outside of the roman catholic church,some catholics would also consider your daughter catholic.but as you said,she seems to have found her way.
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